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October 2007



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Oct. 8th, 2007

Ubiquity of microorganisms


In microbiology we had to go around the school and gather samples.  These samples would show us how bacteria rule our life by proving that it grows everywhere.  So this is my list from dirtiest to least dirty. 


  1. Dirt (big surprise)
  2. Doorknob to the outside of the building
  3. The gunk on the widow
  4. Our desk
  5. The lock on the inside of the bathroom stall
  6. Keyboard in the computer lab (Everyone else who did the keyboard had a lot more bacterial colonies.  Another group swabbed the same keyboard before us therefore I believe that they keyboard should be higher on the list.)
  7. Chair in the hallway
  8. Food service counter.


Dirt had the growth plate completely covered, with raised colonies like a metropolitan city.  It was really gross. 


The doorknob was mostly covered as was the gunk and the desk.  But the gunk had some nasty looking raised areas.  That one looked the nastiest out of all of them. 5-8 only had a few spots so they weren’t too bad.  The chair had some interesting colonies.  One colony looked like a crater.  It was raised on the outside then sunken in the middle.  

Totally off subject... this is the first paragraph of my negative and irrational story.  Its part of the story a few posts below.  

Mountain Plants Bite but Moose Don’t


            The drive up the mountain road is the most chilling part of the adventure.  Yes, of course hiking a mountain is intimidating but it is nothing in comparison to this drive.  I am a lone car on a silent, overpowering mountain.  Nature is beating down and surrounding me on all sides, suffocating me with its power and omnipresence.  There is no question as to who is in charge.  I am intruding on something serene, old and wise.  The trees are examining me suspiciously with their deep and untrusting eyes.  The mountain drops down on one side, unhinging its jaw and welcoming a slip, preparing to devour.  The rain drops the mountain’s saliva upon my car.  The wind rushes between the trees allowing the leaves and grasses to communicate.  The tall grass whispers at my intruding feet.  Right now it is too dangerous, I will return tonight when the watchful sun is absent and the lazy moon oversees the sleeping trees, the tired mountain, and the unconscious grass. 


Mar. 21st, 2007

(no subject)

last week was spring break. i picked up some extra hours at work. on wednesday ted and i went to his grandmothers 100 year old house and helped her scrape paint off the ceiling. then we carried old furniture from one room to another. then we tilled the garden. it's been really nice the past few weeks, about 60-70 degrees. it's rainy today so that sucks but its only 1 bad day out of many. utah's weather is really good, a lot better than new york so i'm much happier here. i need to get back to the gym, i've gained some extra weight but i know when i start hiking again that itll go away. i'm excited for my week off in july. we're going on a hiking/camping trip down in zion's national park.

Aug. 16th, 2005

(no subject)

Paper entry turned into an electronic entry with the encouragement of Bruce.

I feel like an empty shell. I walk around doing things just because I'm supposed to. I'm not hungry in the morning but I eat because there is a concept called breakfast. I brush my teeth, floss, rinse with mouthwash. I feel like I spend an eternity on my mouth. I do this all because my dental hygienist warns me against terrible things. "Mouth care is very important." I am constantly told. I take a tiny birth control pill every morning. The reason being more for lesser symptoms during menstruation rather than actual brith control. I am constantly warned about long term birth control usage. Cancer. Unnatural body mimicking. I take a daily vitamin because I am told that my body can not adequately and naturally be healthy. It's very strange to think that such a complicated structure that works magnificantly, that can heal itself is in need of some extra vitamin a,c, and d. I put on deodorant, I wash my face twice daily. I brush my hair. I put on coverup, foundation, some blush and eyeliner. I am now ready to face the world. I walk around as an empty shell. I shop for other people. I am here to please. I am longing for an honest, true emotional connection. I put in so much effort with one man. i know that I will fail. He slightly responds but it never lasts. I set my goals too high. I dream of an honest, deep conversation. I come down hard. Instead our time is filled with sports talk on ESPN and Hugh Hefner's girlfriends on E!. I have fallen apart inside. I am in desparate need of love. I feel like if I do not receive it soon then I will die. There is nothing special in my life. I am always longing for a home. I think that's part of the rason that I drive around alone at night. I am searching for something. Every morning I wake up in pain. I need so badly to be loved. I can't describe the pain that I feel. It's like a paper cut to my heart. And everymorning I get cut again, a fresh wound. I heal myself at night, in my dreams. Sun rises and I slice myself. I wish I could call him right now and explain every emotion that I'm feeling. But I know it will do no good. I am nowhere near the top of his list of concerns. He will be aggrevated that I am bothering him with MY sorrow. He will say that I'm always angry, always unhappy. And you know what that does to me? Just another slice at my heart. Why do I continue to try with him? Why don't I look for someone who will tell me the truth and have long, meaningful conversations? How do you find these kinds of people? Am I doomed to feel this way all of my life? Because if I am then I don't think I can go on any longer. I am already broken inside. Every night I dream of driving far off and just escaping this life. It's so unbearable. I hate my life. I know that I have no right to even talk like this. I'm so lucky to have shelter, money, food but emotionally I'm dirt poor. I am starving, homeless and destitute.

Apr. 15th, 2005


Like I didn't already know....

You scored as Hermione Granger. You're one intelligent witch, but you have a hard time believing it and require constant reassurance. You are a very supportive friend who would do anything and everything to help her friends out.


Hermione Granger


Severus Snape


Remus Lupin


Albus Dumbledore


Sirius Black


Ron Weasley


Ginny Weasley


Draco Malfoy


Harry Potter


Lord Voldemort


Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
created with QuizFarm.com

Mar. 28th, 2005

Friends only

I just realized that I never posted an entry that said friends only.

Sep. 13th, 2004

I hate people

Can anyone tell me why people are so fucking stupid?

I'm taking a 300 level women's study class. Today we discussed what feminism means. And a lot of students in the class didn't know the meaning of it. umm.... how the hell did they make it to a 300 level class?!? They actually believed the stereotypical descriptions. When one woman in the class said that she felt intimidated by feminists the professor pointed out in a nice way that she fell pray to the media's representations. I was so pissed off by the unintelligent spew from these students mouths that I just wanted to slam my head into the desk. Why? Why are people so afraid of feminism?!? What the fuck? Calm down. After class I was talking to someone from FMLA who is also in that class, she said, "I don't know how these people have made it this far. I feel like I'm in an intro to women's studies class. They should be forced to take intro classes until they get the point, even if it takes them 3 or 4 times." I totally agree. Seriously, I mean, after a week's discussion of what feminism really is and that most of the class fits the description, they still refuse to accept the fact that they are feminists. GRRR! How do stereotpyes so effectively attach themselves to people. They have actually internalized the portrayals even when a professor and classmates have defied the stereotype. I dont understand it. Sorry for the rant.

Just a reminder: FMLA meeting 8:30pm, Union 223, Tuesday 14th.

Also: Tuesday, September 14th: PRIMARY ELECTIONS. GET OUT AND VOTE!

Sep. 11th, 2004


I don't know why I'm posting. I guess just for the hell of it. I have nothing to say, my life is totally boring.

I was supposed to read to page 80-something in this book called, "Rosa: The life of an Italian immigrant" for WST398. It is such an amazing book. This class has given me the best readings ever. I love it. I couldn't put the book down. I ended up reading to the end which was about page 250. I read for 7 hours straight. It was heaven. But such a sad, sad story. So I strongly recommend it.

I hate coming home for weekends. I've been trying to lose weight but my family stocks the house with crap. Total crap and I have no will power. When I'm at school, I'm usually too busy to eat or if I'm at Jareds, they usually dont have anything good to eat. But every weekend I gain back all the weight I lost for the week. It's a vicous cycle. GRRRR!

(After I just went on about bad food, I'm advertising free pizza, hehe.)
Oh and we were planning on having a concert so if anyone knows any bands that would play on campus... please let me know. Thanks!

My family is insane. But that's a known fact.

I honestly believe that my job should be a tv show. I really think that we could make A LOT of money from it. So if anyone out there is affiliated with the entertainment biz... lemme know. I have some good stuff for you!

I'm going to watch tv now. Bye.

Sep. 6th, 2004

Christening Party

Last night was crazy.
Wil was having a Christening party for Joel, (pronounced Joe-el.) So everyone from work was going. I didn't get out of work until 6pm. I went with Grace, Mary and Sue and by the time we got there, Bob (our supervisor) and Tom were drunk. It was funny and kinda sad. It's very strange to see your boss get drunk and flirt with everyone at a party. Especially because he's almost 50, married to a psycho bitch and never before, in the 5 years I've been working there, has gone to a party. Then there were some work hookups which I'm sure will be regretted and embarassing on Tuesday. The other weird thing about going to Wil's parties is that his cousins went to Bay Shore High School. It's weird to see people from high school, especially ones that you never spoke to before and never thought you would ever have any connection to. We all just talked about work and how much we hate customers, the usual. But now at work we get to talk about bob being drunk. Classic. We finally left at 3am. I'm planning on going to work in a little bit to see how Bob is doing.

Sep. 4th, 2004

I love TooL

You are Lateralus. You are unique, intelligent, and
most importantly, an individual. You are
probably a leader and you see and do things
your own way, which is usually different from
the norm. We expect big things to come from

What Tool song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sep. 3rd, 2004


Poems. I dont like them. I never have. Until recently.
I cant write them, though I wish I could. Very much so. They're so elegant and mysterious. So I will share with you the poem that has changed my views. It's written by Lucille Clifon.

song at midnight

this big woman
carries much sweetness
in the folds of her flesh.
her hair
is white with wonderful.
she is
rounder than the moon
and far more faithful.
who will hold her,
who will find her beautiful
if you do not?
won't you celebrate with me
what i have shaped into
a kind of life? i had no model.
born in babylon
both nonwhite and woman
what did i see to be except myself?
i made it up
here on this bridge between
starshine and clay,
my one hand holding tight
my other hand; come celebrate
with me that everyday
something has tried to kill me
and has failed.

oooh... so powerful. The first time I read it, I thought it was ok. But then when we analyzed it in class it became something else. My favorite is "white with wonderful" not just because of the alliteration (which I do have a soft spot for) but because of the way she used the word "wonderful." Ugh! I could never write like that, I'm so jealous. And then my professor asked why we thought she wrote the words in lowercase. And then I became even more jealous by how quickly and brilliantly the students answered. One student said, "Maybe she wanted all the letters to be equal, one letter is not more important than another." Another responded, "Maybe she wanted to have a quiet voice, afterall her poem is named 'song at midnight.'"

Also, Lucille Clifton called America, Babylon. Then the professor made us look up the meaning of Babylon.
There is just so much stuff in such a little poem. It goes on and on. It's all well planned out. ENVY!!

And she speaks of things I was just thinking about... idols. She never had a black woman to look up to. She had to create her own image of what to be. Of how to act. Then how she goes on and says, "here on this bridge between starshine and clay" wow. I love it. I am in love with this poem. Everything about it makes me melt. It's so much more than a poem.

Maybe these are things that I should already know but wow. Just wow. So I've read some more poems in the packet due to intrigue. There are some great pieces in here.

This whole post is chaotic. Grr.

I think I will end it here.

Sorry that I have bored everyone with my terrible rants and my ridiculous obsessions.

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